How empowered and confident do you feel when it comes to sex? Real-world data suggests that many people lack the self-assurance to let go and enjoy the moment. According to a New York Post publication, one in 10 women never feel confident during sex and that’s incredibly sad.
Building self-esteem is an ongoing process that requires effort and commitment. If you’re willing to open up and let go of stigma or past trauma, your sexual confidence will blossom. To speed things up, here are 10 things you can do to feel more assured in the bedroom.
1. Learn to Enjoy Your Naked Body
Get those clothes off and look at yourself in the mirror. This exercise will feel very uncomfortable at first. You’ll probably notice all of the imperfections and the little things that make you hide behind the clothes.
In time, however, you’ll learn to cherish and embrace the things that make you unique.
Pay attention to the softness of your tummy, the strength of your shoulders, and the way your hips give you the most beautiful curvaceous silhouette.
Take it all in. Self-love isn’t built overnight, especially when we take into account all of the beauty conditioning that media does daily. Eventually, however, you’ll start seeing a wonderful human being who’s worthy of being loved, being touched, and enjoying amazing sex.
2. Talk about Sex
Being open and honest about sex with your partner is incredibly empowering. Opening up will seem super awkward but once you do, you’ll experience a deeper level of connectedness. You’ll start being seen for what you like and what you can offer.
A good conversation focuses on likes, dislikes, and boundaries. It lays everything on the table – from the slightly embarrassing to the super secretive. Start out small. If you don’t know how to talk about sex, show your partner what you like during the deed itself. As intimacy grows, so will your ability to talk openly.
3. Try New Stuff
Getting stuck in a sex routine is never empowering. That’s the best way to get sex feeling boring and mundane.
If you feel that your sex life is stuck, the time has come to try some new things.
Something as simple as a sex toy can immediately bring back the spark. Start with a basic and versatile option like a dildo for sex. Liking the experience will give you a chance to experiment with other stuff, be it butt toys or some light bondage.
A change of scenery will also benefit your sex life and your confidence. Doing it in a public place or even in your car will give you the adrenaline rush you may have been missing. Try to recreate the early days of your relationship and the sex will get infinitely better.
4. Be Present in the Moment and Don’t Forget to Laugh
Performance anxiety and the lack of sexual confidence both stem from overthinking things.
Instead of trying to plan a few steps, learn to be present in the moment. Pay attention to your lover’s touch, the warmth of their skin, and the little excited noises they make.
Sex doesn’t have to be serious. Sometimes, it can be awkward and downright embarrassing. By being present in the moment, you’ll learn how to laugh about such situations. Not only will a good laugh make you feel more connected, it will liberate you from the fear that pushes you to try for perfection every single time.
5. Record Yourselves
It takes a lot of courage to record a sexy video during a truly vulnerable and intimate moment.
Making it happen with a partner, however, will bring your sexual connection to a whole new level. You will also be empowered and even if you don’t like what you see, the fact that you recorded a sexy video together will act as a massive confidence booster. Even if you decide to delete the outcome when you’re done watching, you should still pat yourself on the back for your bravery.
6. Exercise and Enjoy Movement
Exercise isn’t just about changing the way your body looks. It alters your perspective and gives you a good idea of all the amazing things your body can do.
Various studies suggest that exercise improves self-esteem and it can even produce mental health improvements.
Enjoyably moving your body releases feel-good hormones that will keep you pumped for a while after you’re done with a sweaty session. Becoming stronger, fitter, and healthier is also going to impact your self-perception in the best way possible.
7. Be Curious about Your Body and Sexual Pleasure
Are there ways you haven’t been stimulated before? Or maybe you’d like to discover a new erogenous zone?
Sexually exploring your body will reveal its massive pleasure potential. Chances are that you’re not fully acquainted with all the ways that you could be enjoying erotic stimulation. Self-exploration and prolonged foreplay with a partner can both help you learn amazing new lessons.
8. Challenge Cultural and Societal Norms
Many people feel limited and even repressed in the bedroom because of their upbringing or the notions society instilled at an early age. It’s time to start challenging those toxic notions.
Sexual pleasure is good. Having a caring lover is amazing. Being queer is just who you are embrace your identity.
Try to dig deep, even if it feels a bit painful. Shame and guilt should never be a part of your sexual identity. Working with a therapist is great to resolve those feelings and focusing on some self-reflection can also be very beneficial.
9. Work on Building Overall Confidence
Feeling empowered and satisfied in all aspects of life will inevitably enhance your sexual confidence, as well.
Focus on improving yourself, whether it comes to work, a new project that you’ve started, or a sport you like to practice.
Everyday successes build you up and change the way you view the world. The more fulfilled and happy you are, the more satisfying your sex life is going to become.
10. Take Care of Your Mental Health
Sometimes, you may be struggling with deeper and darker reasons for the lack of self-confidence.
Taking good care of your overall mental well-being will give you the peace of mind and comfort required to embrace your sexuality.
Good mental health is all about treating yourself with kindness, eating right, getting enough sleep, removing toxic people from your surroundings, and working with a therapist on unresolved issues. All those things will have a massive effect on every aspect of your being, including your sexuality.
Conclusions
Feeling more sexually empowered is possible. For a start, learn to be present in the moment and to vocalize what you want. These two changes will unlock your massive confidence-boosting potential that can overhaul your sexual energy.
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